My boyfriend just left to go to work and I rushed to the cupboards. I could not stop eating, its like its addictive. I then rushed to the toilet and purged until the calmness and dizziness rushes through me.
I am now sitting here feeling a mixture of emotions - guilt, a failure but also calmness and contentment.
I am joining a group in the new year from a eating disorder charity. I am quite nervous about the journey I am making to recovery. Am I really ready? Or will I never be ready though?
Sounds like you're really dedicating yourself to recovery! It's scary, but the sooner you get into it the sooner you get out of it. You're making a very brave choice and I hope you stick with it! :)
ReplyDeleteRecovery is so indimidating, but it sounds like somewhere in your heart, you want it. I'm sorry about the b/p session, but at least you felt calm afterwards. Stay strong sweetie and keep working towards recovery.
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It takes time to establish new habits. Don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like you are trying to make efforts to change and that's the most important thing. Stay strong!
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