Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Not ill enough?

I received my eating disorder clinic questionable in the post today prior to assessment. I feel lost, I can not concentrate to even fill it in. I feel I am not worthy to go and get help, I feel I am being silly and wasting their time and I feel I am not ill enough to fill in these questions....

Tomorrow I have a group meeting too for people with eating disorders. Again I don't feel ill enough to go. Will I be judged because of my weight? Am I just going to please my boyfriend and mummy?

My head is all jumbled :(


  1. I know what you mean sweety. Like you look at yourself and think; I can't possibly have an eating disorder when I'm this fat?
    You never think "anorexic" or "bulimic" looking at a 'normal' or overweight girl?
    And if everything is just in our heads and not reflection on our bodies, then who cares?

    Hope you're okay though . Know what you're going through !
    Love Jo

  2. I totally understand too. I have trouble with labels in general, I hate it when shrinks and therapists and doctors and whoever call me a certain thing, as if that's what defines me somehow. And you are going for your mum and your bf, yes, but also for yourself. Even if you go just once to see what it's like, these people don't know you, don't know who you are and you might never see them again. And I'm sure that there will be people of all shapes and sizes just as shy as you are to tell their story.
    All the best of luck!
    E xx

  3. You are I'll enough to go because you were I'll enough to be referred, and you purge and you binge and you restrict, which are the behaviours that matter. My record showed, when I first went, BMI Healthy, ed thinking++ : they are totally aware you're BMI doesn't have to be 12 to warrant help, and you deserve help. You are a lovely girl that deserves to be happy, remember that xxxxx

  4. Don't think that way! I know I would feel the same but you have to remember that part of this disorder is not feeling good enough, in all aspects of life. You ARE good enough and you DESERVE to be helped even if you don't think you are. Lots of love and luck dear.
    <3 Eve

  5. I think if you think you aren't ill enough, you probably are because it appears to be people with disorders don't think they are ill. You deserve the help sweetie. Best of luck :) xx

  6. I've said this before in my blog sweetheart, it doesn't matter the size, the eating habbits, or anything like that. You have disordered eating and you are doing the right thing to seek out help. I've met people of all shapes and sizes with eating disorders. Keep your head up and just focus on one thing at a time.

  7. I know a nutritionist who tried to get me to get help for awhile, and I made the same argument.
    And she said nearly everyone she's ever worked with in ED clinics feels that way at the begining.

    I think anyone who wants help should be able to get it. And NO ONE should be made to feel lke a burden.

    I think you are so brave to get help!!