Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Recovery isn't easy

Recovery isn't going as well as I had planned, and I have looked at the same number on the scales for weeks now. I need to up my game a bit, I need to stop binging, stop purging and start loosing some pounds. I am getting pretty cross with myself at the moment. Its so frustrating, I look at the toilet and think 'I should not be doing this' but I still make myself sick! I then go downstairs and binge again! The cycle repeats and I just get more and more exhausted and fed up with myself.

I have literally decided I am not coming out of this bedroom the rest of tonight, I am going to stay here to avoid the bathroom and the kitchen. If I get a urge I am going to sleep. Looking forward to my boyfriend coming home, at least I won't binge as much.


  1. (GL means good luck :))
    And yes, good luck sweetie. Is there another way you can measure your achievements, other than the scales? E.g, counting how many times you b/p in a month, and aiming for less next month? I don't know, but maybe try focusing on changing behaviors first, if there's a way you can gauge progress by it.

    Stay strong lovely, sending you lots of hugs <3 xxxx

  2. Hey girl I can't figure out how to message you so just send me an email aSinforEve10@gmail.com

  3. Hey love thanks for your comment, it made me feel a lot better :) I've followed and in the process of reading your blog now <3

  4. Hey sweetie, I have times like this too and it's hard. It will take time but you will get there. I like Bella's idea of counting achievements in terms of binging and purging less, rather than the number on the scales...
    Alice xx

  5. I can't figure out how to follow your blog from my phone but once I get my laptop set up with internet I will! Some advice I can give you about avoiding b/p would be to turn out the lights in your house. It sounds weird but it helps me. This includes the tv! If all else fails I go to bed, cover my head, and eventually fall asleep. It won't help w whatever is triggering you emotionally but it may atleast help the numbers start to fall.

  6. recovery really isn't easy. i had a huge lasp yesterday and purged like 4 times by 'accident'. i'd say. it just simply happened and then i was in so much pain because my digestive tract wasn't used to purging and i just purged a shit tonne of food. also, i took a few laxatives. it was literally Hell.
    just keep your head and no matter what happens - know that when you recover, you can eat a normal amount of calories and thus lose weight the healthy weight - without the deprivation and all that. <3 that's really worth a lot when you think about it. at this point, i'm just like 'i can't eat 900 calories wtf'
    -Sam Lupin

  7. heeeey! thank you a million times for following my blog, it's gonna help me major bucks. so let me try to help you.

    i've felt that same way so many times before it's ridic. but we can do this. we WILL do this. i think one of the main things is we can't just expect to eat all "normal" all of a sudden and be fine with it. *oops i had an ED but now it's gone*. no ma'am. so let's just keep at it and if today was better than yesterday. great. but if today was worse, then no biggie. tomorrow will be better.

    i hope that helped at least microscopically. and PS: we're using the same font! genius.

  8. Hey dear. Hang in there and don't give up. Recovery isn't going to happen right away, and the first thing you have to do is accept that you'll slip up and just resolve to do better. Try keeping track of your b/ps and write them down. And not just the calories and what you ate, but how you felt before. Were you upset over something? Angry? Just bored? Bingeing is almost always a response to emotional stimulus before it becomes a habit, so try isolating incidents that cause them and find healthier ways to deal with the emotions behind it. Also if you have a smartphone, download the app Recovery Record. You can set reminders to yourself, keep track of food and feelings, and get tons of encouragement. And if you need anything you can always email me LaelapsLost@gmail.com