Recovery! Meal Plans! Course!

First steps for recovery today. I have written out a meal plan and I must try to stick to it to avoid binges and effectively stops me being sick so much. It's bloody hard though....

I go to a Eating Disorder self harm minimisation course on Thursday. I am unsure what to expect? Anyone else ever been on one of these? Its a pre-course before proper therapy happens.

Bulimia Poem - THE TRUTH

Its a cycle you can't escape
It all happened age 13 - after the rape

Chanting fills my head and guilt and disgrace
Its degrading when the sick splashes back in your face

Pushing vomit down the shower plug with your toes
Running the taps so nobody knows

Hiding vomit in lunch boxes under your bed
Hoping the pounds will quickly shred

Dirty public toilets degrade you
Your teeth are chipped and see-through

Wetting yourself when your throwing up
The corners of your lips are sore and cut

All that money on food wasted
The food that was never really tasted

You hate this eating disorder, yet you love it so much
Its the only way to cope, its your only clutch

Its SO windy

Wow its windy, like stupidly windy. The weird man next door, hedge has completely gone down. I don't know what he is going to do about it because he stays indoors and has the curtains shut all the time. I can not imagine him venturing out. 

Well after yesterdays binge I have lost a pound - madness. It has spurred me on to make today a good day. I have Weight Watchers on Wednesday and my Gran is cooking us a meal at lunch time. I don't usually eat on Wednesdays so I need to be extra good from now till then so it doesn't reflect on the scales.