Blood

Today I have been feeling a lot better. I have felt more with it and not psychotic. I haven't wanted to hurt myself so many times either.
I had a problem this evening, I went to be sick and my body just rejected it. Nothing would come out and my throat hurt so much. Blood splashed in the toilet and I felt scared. My lips cracked and sore too.

Fed up with being fat

I have had enough.
I have had enough of being fat.
I have had enough of restricting.
I have had enough of binging.
I have had enough of purging.
I am fed up with my lips stinging from being sick and my throat throbbing.
I just want to be perfect :(

Bulimia Poem - THE TRUTH

Its a cycle you can't escape
It all happened age 13 - after the rape

Chanting fills my head and guilt and disgrace
Its degrading when the sick splashes back in your face

Pushing vomit down the shower plug with your toes
Running the taps so nobody knows

Hiding vomit in lunch boxes under your bed
Hoping the pounds will quickly shred

Dirty public toilets degrade you
Your teeth are chipped and see-through

Wetting yourself when your throwing up
The corners of your lips are sore and cut

All that money on food wasted
The food that was never really tasted

You hate this eating disorder, yet you love it so much
Its the only way to cope, its your only clutch

Loopy Lucie's New Diet - Join Me?

So it's a new day and a new start to shift some pounds before Christmas.

I wanted to do the ABC diet but realistically I wouldn't be able to do it on so little calories and end up binging and purging so I have developed my own diet. The calories will be for things like pasta to bulk up the unlimited fruit and veg. This diet will only be for a week as a detox only! Detox's are usually only fruit and veg but realistically we all need some protein/carbs to function.

Day One - 500 calories + unlimited fruit + unlimited veg + at least 8 glasses of water + vitamin tablet
Day Two - 250 calories + unlimited fruit + unlimited veg  at least 8 glasses of water + vitamin tablet
Day Three - 0 calories + unlimited fruit + unlimited veg + at least 8 glasses of water + vitamin tablet
Day Four - 500 calories + unlimited fruit + unlimited veg  + at least 8 glasses of water + vitamin tablet
Day Five - 250 calories + unlimited fruit  + unlimited veg  + at least 8 glasses of water + vitamin tablet
Day Six - 0 calories  + unlimited fruit  + unlimited veg  + at least 8 glasses of water + vitamin tablet
Day Seven - 500 calories + unlimited fruit  + unlimited veg  + at least 8 glasses of water + vitamin tablet

Would anyone like to join me? I will update my progress daily :) x

I want to be like you...